- You find that a strange jargon is working its way into your everyday conversation. Words like "derailleur," "Campagnolo," "Biopace," "Kevlar," "Dia Comp," and "Shimano."
- You have an uncontrollable urge to bring your bike into the house - preferably in the living room or the bedroom.
- You find it amazingly easy to justify the purchase of a third bike - this one just for special rides.
- You plan, and actually look foward to, a two-week bicycling vacation trekking across mountainous terrain and setting a goal of 75 - 100 miles a day, rain or shine!
- You can actually remember which valve type is Presta and which is Schraeder, and are adament about defending your favorite.
- Your spouse begins to automatically assume that you'll be on a club ride every weekend, or worse yet your non-riding spouse begins to learn bike jargon.
- You meticulously care for your bike, while your $10,000 car quietly rusts away.
- You view Christmas, birthdays, and anniversaries as times to exchage gifts of bicycling components and accessories.
- You hang around bike shops without really needing anything.
- You're so naive that you think a "wheel-watcher" is a bike racing fan.
- You accumulate bike catalogs - and find something new to order with each new issue.
- You easily rationalize replacing perfectly good components, just because somthing slightly better or trendier just came out.
- You never throw away the replaced parts - even worn out tires and tubes.
- Your eating habits have changed. Things like "gorp," "Gookinade," and "carbohydrates" creep into your diet.
- You plan the year ahead around the dates of TOSRV, GEAR, the LAW rally, the Hilly Hundred, the Makleville Death Ride, etc (the list grows longer every year).
- You don't plan any family events ahead until checking the "Monthly Meanders" schedule.
- You begin to regard your job or school as a troublesome nuisance, interfering with your quality biking time.
- You divide your friendships into two groups - those that bike and those that don't bike.
- You talk about Lemond, Induran, Chiapucci, and Bugno as if they were close personal friends.
- You find yourself carrying on a spirited conversation with "Larry," the ever silent riding companion, when viewing the cycling video on your wind trainer.
- Your all-time favorite movies are "Breaking Away" and "American Flyers."
- You talk as if you really understand gear ratios.
- You'll ride all day in the numbing cold and soaking rain, and then complain at home if a draft from an open window blows on you.
- Your family photo album is becoming filled with bike photos and scenery views shot through the spokes. On the other hand, you have not taken a candid photo of you spouse or kids for two years.
- You faithfully log every mile ridden.
- You regard the severity of a sickness or injury by the length of time it takes until you can resume biking.
- You're beginning to actually enjoy drinking warm water out of a water bottle (especially at sag stops, sitting on the cold ground and pigging out on bananas.)
- You have a permanent black grease mark across the calf of your right leg.
- Your biggest goal is to qualify for RAAM (or some other suitably difficult race/ride).
- You would like to wear your colorful skin outfits to work.
- You belong to more than two bike clubs and/or subscribe to more than two bike magazines.
- You consider not being able to ride on your favorite ride as "the ultimate tragedy."
- You hang on to your favorite biking outfits, like a child's teddy-bear, even though they are tattered and torn.
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