1) Regard someone as ignorant if they don't know 6Al-4V actually a Titanium Alloy not an Aluminum one.

2) Believe Shimano's secret headquarters is on Mount Olympus.

3) Curse the government for not releasing more "stealth" technology to bike manufacturers.

4) Considered using a bottom bracket as a bow-tie "like in that cool ad."

5) Replace your cable housings after every wet ride.

6) Replace your chain after every 8647 revolutions.

7) Shun anodized parts because the colors add weight.

8) Change your brake pads to match the day's weather conditions.

9) Have more pictures of your bike than any loved one.

10) Can determine the number of spokes and lace pattern on a wheel, with eyes closed, simply by plucking one spoke.

11) Have experimented w/ building your own internal 4x10 internal rear hub, but realized there was no room for spokes.

12) Considered canceling any magazine subscription if they print Gary Fisher "invented" MTBs

13) Have more sensors attached to your bike and behind than an ICU patient.

14) Own more lycra than Pamela Andersen

15) Had SPD compatible sandals Looooong before Shimano made them.

16) Put SPDs on your kid's Tricycle

17) Trained your dog to use a Camelbak.

18) Fantasize about "Wireless" shifters.

19) Have Schrader drilled rims and carry a Presta adaptor.

20) Believe Carbon-Fiber is just a sham to distract us away from the "real" aerospace materials.

21) Call Shimano once a month inquiring about their vaporware cranks.

22) True wheels using a torque wrench, and a barometer.

By Alex G. Arnold alex.arnold@citicorp.com.