10) Ever tried wiping with a pine cone?
9) They never sit still long enough to whif themselves.
8) It helps the Forest Service locate the body.
7) Bathing in water rusts their components.
6) It keeps deer off the trail.
5) Nanners, protein bars and carbo drinks--one helluva methane cocktail.
4) That shammy's 10,000 miles overdue for an oil change.
3) They've found alternative applications for Judy Butter.
2) They love the smell of sweat socks in the morning. It smells like, VICTORY!

And the Number One Reason Why Mountain Bikers Smell is...

1) You mean those gloves are washable? What a concept!