Top Ten Reasons To Race Bicycles


10. Haven't thrown up in a while
9. Read somewhere that sweat is an aphrodisiac
8, Got no life, so why not?
7. Waiting for someone to crash and see some blood
6. Like being humiliated on a regular basis
5. Lactic acid makes me loopy
4. Shaved legs make cross-dressing easier
3. Good excuse to drink beer at Deluxe
2. Cheap way to fuel PowerBar addiction
1. Pain-just can't get enough of it

Top Ten Reasons To Stop Racing Bicycles


10. Throwing up all the time ruins my shoes
9. Discovered that sweat is a turn-off, switched to Spanish Fly
8. Still got no life, but started playing pinball in local7-Eleven instead
7. Someone crashed. I saw blood. It was mine.
6. Decided dating was humiliation enough
5. Found out that it's lysergic acid that makes me loopy
4. Saw that leg shaving and cross-dressing were getting out of hand when
inducted into Ladies' Aid Society
3. Wanted to drink beer at Deluxe and smoke cigarettes, too!
2. Can now replace expensive PowerBars with Twinkies
1. Pain-had enough of it

By Roger Bruhn, li65435@navix.net.